Spill the Beans, KP

living the life of someone who hates communication.
~ Wednesday, May 2 ~
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over you, but not really

woah. I thought I was over my ex boyfriend, but out of nowhere these feelings came back. I’m almost wondering if I’m sad that I’m not in a relationship anymore. I mean, sure, it was sad losing one of my closest friends, but I sort of miss the relationship more than I do my actual ex-boyfriend. I just feel alone. I want someone to hug me like they mean it, to lay in someones arms, I want to be able to cry to someone. He was the only person I felt comfortable crying in front of. Maybe I miss him, but maybe I just want someone to be there for me. The past couple months have been so hard because I have no one to talk to. This is obviously a lie because I have several people to talk to, but none I feel that comfortable around. With my ex, I trusted him with everything. I knew that he wouldn’t judge me and he’d only have loving things to say to me. It just sucks having to hold all these feelings of distress inside my head, not telling anyone. If my ex was anything to me besides a friend, he was an outlet for me. He was the person I went to when I was broken. Sure, I miss him and our relationship, but most of all I miss having a way to let go of my sadness. Now all this sadness is just locked inside. I know I’ll find someone else that I trust, but it just feels like it’s taking an eternity. I need it now.

-kptellsall

Tags: sad breakup i'm not over you broken lonely personal blog
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